Griz on Neuro Linguistic Programming

Hands up if you are doing NLP without knowing you’re doing it? 🙋‍♀️
What’s NLP? It’s Neuro Linguistic Programming and in today’s podcast Griz from Front & Centre Training Solutions will tell us all about it. We love love love Griz! She radiates joy and positivity and is one of the most amazing inspirational women you’ll ever get to meet.
Another fun learning podcast with these three musketeers who love talking, and could just do it all day!
Enjoy this podcast and don’t forget to follow us on Apple, Google, and Spotify!
Transcript-  NLP with Grazina Fechner (Griz)

Nic

Hello and welcome to Aesthetics Uncensored. Today you have myself Nicole Montgomery and Trish Hammond and we are so excited to have back again, is Grazina Fechner, the famous famous Front and Centre trainer, who is always a burst of energy and joy. And today we are so excited to learn about NLP. What is NLP? Nice, ladies. Yeah.

Griz

Nice lady poses? No it’s not that at all 🙂

First of all, though, welcome to me. Welcome to you and thank you for having me back. It’s only because I banged on your door, and I book every appointment I can in your podcast calendar. So you’ve got to have a lot of hanging out with you guys.Yeah, morning Griz. Great to be with the gang. Like, I feel like we are the three musketeers and we’re the cool gang in the streets and we do talk about a lot of stuff and today, it’s pretty exciting. So we are talking about NLP and it’s been a buzzword, and it sort of comes in fashion. And it goes out of fashion, comes back in fashion again, and goes out. So what NLP is and the best bit about today’s podcast is as we listen and learn from it, you’ll realize you’re doing a lot of NLP without even knowing you’re doing it. So a lot of the stuff that we’ll talk about is simple. It’s not hard to do but there’s a lot of science behind it that suggests by doing this stuff, you will be as successful as you want to be, you’ll be able to achieve anything that you want to achieve. Yet you’re doing all the stuff already so a lot of people have, if you look on a website, there’s a lot of people that don’t love NLP as well. It’s like anything though, some people like Coke, some people don’t like Coke and I mean the drinking form some people like dresses and other people like pants. So when you were talking about NLP, I’m not saying you’ve got to go and do this to be successful. I’m saying that this is a theory and a model. Like all the stuff that we talk about on the podcast. This is one of the theories, one of the models, take it what you will adapt how you choose, and always still be genuine and that’s the thing is when we start talking mirroring in NLP, I don’t want you to go auguries I don’t want to be like that person. We’re not asking you to be what we’re saying is the theory behind mirroring can give you some really good outcomes on the other side. So that’s what we’re talking about today.

Trish

And so what does it stand for? I mean, I think I know it’s Neuro Linguistic Programming, hey,

Griz

Yeah, and it was back in 1975. So these two blokes decided that they were going to conquer the world and so they started talking about it back then and the reason why I mean programming, if you chose the NLP language now, you probably wouldn’t use programming but how they thought about it was obviously a new row is your whole body, right? So it’s everything, it’s how your body moves and feels and thinks and breathes and then, linguistics is all the language stuff and then the programming is saying, how can you program like a computer because back in 1975, the biggest buzz thing was, oh, my gosh, computers are programming things and there’s all this programming language. So the program came from thinking of ourselves as computers, and how can we adapt and program ourselves to think differently, act differently, feel differently? And compose ourselves differently, depending on who you’re speaking to? So that’s the acronym for it.

Trish

You’re right. So is it loosely? Like, is that loose? Or is it similar in any way to like body language? Or does it incorporate body language into words purely verbal communication? 

Griz 

No, absolutely. Body language and body language is one of the key things I even talk about eye movement, if your eyes are up, you’re thinking something if they’re down and bigger and cross was, so they look into a whole lot of it. So that’s all about the neuro is the whole body. So again, if I walk into somewhere, and I’m trying to build rapport, and I’m cuddling them, and kissing them, and touching them in their body space, that might not be what they want so I’m never gonna be able to build rapport. So I’m never going to be able to communicate with them effectively, because the person’s going to feel uncomfortable around me. So it’s all about body language, but even the way you hold yourself and you think from a language perspective, so if you’re not feeling confident, you’ll tend to become small and become insular and step away from somebody and have a nervous twitch or start swaying from side to side. Now all of those parts of someone reading your body language and deciding if they want to hang out with you or not. So using your body language to lose confidence, even if you don’t feel it, but standing upright and sitting upright, and, and even running, if you’re going in for meeting thinking about NLP going and sitting at the front seat. Now most people go on, I don’t want to sit in the front seat, because that scary seat belt, that’s where they’ll ask me questions. But just doing that from an NLP perspective, show someone that you’re confident, and you’re going to own that front seat, and you’re gonna sit in it, and you’re going to be active and engaged in that seat. So Trish, body language is a huge part of NLP but what it really started with, which was really interesting was, these guys were thinking, why do all people sit in a university course? And they all learn a, b, c, and d and then they leave. And some people are really successful and they find the career and find the dream job with that bit of knowledge. And others leave the course and they’re not successful in that bit of knowledge and they’re not running their own companies, or they’re not doing anything. So they were like the same people have the same knowledge. Why are some people successful? and some people are not so that’s how the initial question started with NLP.

Trish

Okay, so just like, is it something that people can like, I’m thinking to myself, Oh, my God, I probably need to go out and learn this stuff. So is it like this, a course that people do? Or it’s just like a book that people can read? Or is it all of that content?

Griz 

All of that.

Trish

How did you get into it?

Griz 

Yeah. Because clients asked me to start training, is it fair to go and learn this stuff? Because I often say yes, and then work out what to do after that. And I think that’s an NLP principle, or maybe it’s not but every opportunity that I get, I’m just like, Yes, I’ll work it out. Once I’ve said, I remember, when we first started Front and Centre, we went and pitched a program to a company, I won’t say who boosted them, dropping them in but we went and pitched this amazing program and we didn’t think we were ever going to win the pitch, because it was training a whole massive field force of a huge company, in a new sales model that we told them that we had. Anyway, I won the pitch and I remember bringing my business partner going, I’ve just won the pitch and we’ve got to deliver a program that we don’t even have. So I had pitched this whole program that we didn’t even have, we didn’t even know we didn’t even have a model and yet here I was pitching it, we wanted it and we were about to go live with it. Around the country, that was a whole year project so the same with NLP is unlike what, no one’s asked me for the same as DISC same as anything that I’ve learned or then gone and become accredited and loan check, and then studied it. So that was how but what I found interesting was when you go to these NLP practitioner things, then you can become an NLP practitioner, and you can have a whole business in it or you can just use it for yourself. And I think, certainly for the listeners today, you don’t need to become accredited because the stuff that it teaches you and the stuff that we’ll talk about is your basic principles of communication and being successful, and your mindset and the way you think about things. And you know, if you think positive, you’re going to have a much better result if you visualise and have a better result so they’re all the adaptations of the NLP process and that’s how I started it. Yeah.

Trish

I feel like I’m having this conversation. Sorry, Nicole. 

Nic

No, it’s cool. Go for it.

Trish

Just so I can get this out so how can well, first of all, I want to know how people can like, benefit from this in their business, but also how what is it like how do we use it like tell you about it? Yeah. How can I utilize it today when I go out to the shops?

Griz

Yeah, well think about Tony Robbins, right. So he’s just a famous way of becoming Tony Robbins and he is a very successful entrepreneur who’s got a lot of money. His whole theory is behind NLP and teaching NLP and practitioners. So you can read books on it, you can Google it to your heart’s content but the basic things are all about making yourself the very best version of you, understanding how you roll, but then understanding the emotional intelligence of others around you and adapting your style to suit. So for those of us that have done this before, or behavioral theories, it all encompasses in together, but some of the one fundamental of NLP is modeling, and they call it modeling and I don’t know that I like the word modeling, because people all of a sudden think, gosh, if someone puts their hands behind their head, then I’ve got to do the same thing to model that person and that’s not what we want you to think about when we talk about modeling in NLP. Modeling in NLP means that if someone is speaking more slowly, well speak more slowly in front of them. If someone’s really excited and upbeat and engaged, well then change your tone and diction to model that, if someone doesn’t like personal space, model that distance between you both if someone does like personal space, bring yourself in forward so when we talk about modeling, it does not mean just copy what someone’s doing. Look at the person that you’re in front of, and try to think about how they like receiving the information, how they like communicating, and how you’re going to get the best interaction out of them so modeling is a fundamental and that stuff that you innately do. So everything, as I said, when we started a lot of the stuff you’re doing, but it’s bringing it back to the forefront and going, if I commit to carrying on doing this, I am going to feel better and do better. So for a client coming into a clinic, or a patient or a customer, straightaway model their behavior, if they feel nervous, and a bit anxious, don’t be overbearing, and run in and tell them that they’ve got to do this, and we’re gonna do that we’re gonna have a 12 month treatment plan, that’s gonna be fantastic just calm your farm and that is using NLP in a heartbeat. Even if someone is, if you’re going and you’re thinking and consoling somebody, another NLP practitioner theories be positive. Now, me, I’m the whole queen of positivity, and I love it, and I breathe it, and I love it and I think it’s really important. So if someone comes in and says, Oh, I’m not really sure about this, and you go, Oh, well, I’m not really sure either, they’re not going to get the benefit. So it’s you being positive in that space to say, you’ve come to me because you really want to find your being here, or you really want to have full cheeks or you really whatever the case is so be positive about it and say, You know what, you will feel fantastic with these politics and this is how we can do it. It’s really interesting, the language that we use, especially with NLP language. I spent a lot of time in audiology and I remember one day, and I’m not sure if I’ve told you this story. But I remember one day I was in with a gentleman and he’d had a hearing consults and he decided to purchase hearing aids, and they were $10,000. So hearing aids are pretty expensive and the hearing consult was fabulous. He was going to get him to do what he needs to do to be able to hear his grandchildren and TV and hear the guys at the pub screaming for the footy team. He went home and he rang up on Monday and he said, Can I have a second opinion? And we said, Of course you can so the senior audiologist came in. So the lady who had it, she just came out of audiology with only two years experience. Senior, I’ll just prescribe exactly the same hearing aids and he said, Okay, great. And I said to him, can I ask you why you wanted that second opinion? And he said, because the language that the audiologist used was, I think this might be the right thing for you.

Now, that’s not positive. I think this might be any say, Well, I think it might be well, what is it’s not, I’ve just spent $10,000, and that’s my pension gone so the language that we use needs to be in a positive tone. Now, we’re not saying that we can create miracles and half a point five of lip fillers gonna give you the biggest lips in the world when you do that. But if someone’s talking to you, be positive about their treatment, be excited for them about their treatment and that’s the whole NLP process. So we’re modeling, we’re being positive, you, yourself have to set positive goals. What do you want to achieve? Because remember, NLP is all about how to get to where you want to go, and influencing along the way effectively. So what are your goals? If you don’t have your goals, how do you know where you’re even going? You’re never gonna be able to use NLP to get there so set your goals. Once you’ve set your goals, then the people that you need to speak to, and the things that you need to do. And when we talk about modeling, we also think about the person that you want to be like, and I’m looking in the air because, like, have that dream and that aspiration, who do I want to be like, and what do I like about them? Why do I want to be like them? What are the traits that helped me get to where they are? And that’s part of modeling as well. So, if you want to be Richard Branson, start studying him. What does he do? What are his visions? He’s all positive, he’s opened a bridal shop, I don’t know anything about Branson, but hey, I’ll open a bridal shop and I’ll get the people around me to sort it. So that whole process of where do you want to get to is part of your goal setting in NLP? Who do you aspire to be like, start researching them, look at them start to look at their traits start to look at their body language, start to look at the way they communicate, start to look at the phrases they use, start to look at the way they present and that will get you on the path of where you want to go from that. Always ask yourself positive questions, Trish. So, again, going back to how this is relevant to me, well, positive questions, we’re going to go, I’m going to get there and when I walk into the clinic today, what am I going to do? What am I gonna do to change someone’s life? How am I going to make them feel, again, all that positivity and then the final bit is probably having your mindset so mess with the negative voices in your head. And I always say that if you’ve got these negative voices coming in, mess them with them, like, tell them they’re wrong, sort them out, get rid of them, get them out of there, because those negative voices are going to be much more engaging to you, then your positive voice and negative voices always override your positive voice. Think about when you have a performance development plan and you’ve done 28 things that are fantastic, and you’ve made sales and the clinics on fire and then there’s one area for development, you walk out, and that’s all you think about. It’s that negative voice so you need to get rid of that negative voice and, and I talk to people about the five second rule all the time. And I say, if I want to go up and I see Nicole on the other end of the ballroom, and I want to speak to her about an opportunity. I sit there and I go on a cause busy talking to somebody else, she won’t want to speak to me now it’s dinner, it’s not really a work environment so I don’t go and talk to her as opposed to the minute that thought hits my head, a jump up out of my chair, and I start walking towards Nicole. By the time I’ve got there, the negative voices have gone because I’m already there so if we allow ourselves a five second rule, it means a minute you think of something, you get up and you just start going. Because the minute you don’t, and negative voices take precedence over your positives in your brain space, visualise really good outcomes, and examine your beliefs so that was a really long answer to your question. They’re the things that NLP is all about. 

Nic

And sorry. So cool. You have a question, Trish? 

Trish

Yeah, I’m finished. So it’s like a mode of communication that you can adopt? 

Griz

Yeah, it’s like a communication that you adopt. But it’s all about how you’re adopting it because you want to communicate effectively with others. So your goal is, I’m adopting it, because I want to do well in life and by doing well, in life, it’s all about communication, like everything in the world comes down to communication. So the way you communicate, and if you’ve got negative talk in your head, you’re going to be more negative. If you’ve got, not good rapport building skills, you won’t ever be able to build rapport to be able to get to that next step with that person, a business relationship. So everything intertwines with that whole communication, but you’re communicating, because you want to do well with the other person communicating with.

Trish

Yes, so it’s like come, because I have definitely experienced that thing where you’re at a conference, and I’ve got to talk to that person and then you’re like, Oh, my God, hang on there talking. I don’t want to interrupt and all that sort of thing and I’ve done both, I’ve just gone up and started speaking and have actually interrupted them and I thought, Oh, God, this is really awkward. But then I’ve had those times where someone couldn’t wait to get out of that conversation as well. Now, it was a welcome relief but just on that, so I reckon this sounds like something that everyone should do, like, it should be part of the learning, even if people don’t use it. It sounds like it should be part of the learning thing for people, don’t you think?

Griz

I mean, I’m an advocate, it should be your basic fundamentals because I mean, to be learning this stuff at school, and it makes me cranky, because I want to go and change the whole school curriculum, because I think people learn even they don’t have the number one skill, which is communication, they spend their life in a school yard, not really communicating and this is the button and it’s simple stuff thinking about radio, I’m gonna think of positive thoughts not negative, it’s not hard to do that thinking about. And as you said, Trish, just on that point of going up and wanting to speak to somebody, but never want you to interrupt if they’re in the middle of thing, but it’s just that movement of getting out of your chair and walking towards them before your brain tells you to not do it. Or even if you walk towards them and are in the middle of talking, you can just join in or smile or stand closer by so that when they stop talking, you can then say hello. But what happens is we don’t even get off our chairs, because our brains are already telling us that Nicole won’t want to speak to us. So it’s really mean, NLP is all about being as positive as you can in your space and reading other people so that you know how they’re feeling about a situation. So if they’re really sad, and their dogs just died or had to put the dog down on the weekend, and you run up and you start talking about how cool your new puppy is, it’s probably not great. So it’s really being aware of the interaction with somebody else to make them feel good and make them not genuinely, remember I said at the beginning, this is not to be done. This is genuine, it’s not to be done with intent to be fake. It’s meant to be done to go you know what I really want to send this person so I’m going to listen learn to understand listen to engage and have an NLP discussion with them.

Trish

I guess for some people, this would probably I knightly be natural as well without being sitting into a category of NLP because some people might kind of do those things naturally anyway, and they couldn’t just yeah, 

Griz

Yeah, and that’s what I found when I went into the program. It was just like, No, this is normal stuff and yet, the more you read this, you realize it’s normal for some people. And for others, it’s not so innately the stuff that NLP talks to, I was doing before I did it, but you obviously have to go into the program to be a practitioner in it. But I keep just trying to say these are all life skills you don’t even have to define them with a name and, and understand the theory behind it, all you need to do is think about gee whiz, how do I want to get to I want to go, who’s that person? What are their traits? How can I pick up and learn from their traits, and then be as successful as I want to be? 

Nic

You know umm, sorry Trish, did you have another question?

Trish

No, I’m done for the moment.

Nic

It’s so funny, because I think that I’ve worked with people who I obviously have either just innately pick this up, or have learned and invested in their communication skills, because I’ve worked with some surgeons who have done the most incredible modeling, who, you know, I can think of one surgeon who’s very, very posh, very intelligent, multiple degrees. Trish knows who uses it at Edgecliff and so, someone who speaks with those very posh boys, and he had a patient who was from a lower demographic, who was saying, you know, my chances are saggy. And then he said, instead of saying, you know, the nipple is below the IMF line and as he normally would speak, because I’ve seen him speak that way and when I witnessed him speak that way, he said, what to relate to fix the sag or whatever, but he started talking. And this whole concept was so bizarre, because I’m thinking, but here he is talking to these posh boys, but he’s actually using the language that she’s using. And then it’s as if, when she’s saying, you know, how she feels about herself and what her issues are, he’s repeating those issues back to her in her words, which is really bizarre, because it’s totally out of character and then I worked with an auntie surgeon who used to do the same thing with children and, you know, like, how you’ve got a frog in your throat, or the child would say, you know, it feels like a strike frog in my throat, and can’t swallow and whatnots did a lot of tonsillectomies and things and, or even just the nose can’t breathe and whatever, but then he would use that language. Okay, so there’s a frog jumping around in there, real time this frog.

Griz

An absolute NLP, and that’s the stuff that matters is even using the word, one of my very seniors, she’s an MD, and a really high big company and she always uses AT word, we’ve got this a word. So she says, everything’s grass and grass, grass, Mickey Mouse, diggety, and all these, so my emails that I write to her, it’s a whole 80s language of valley girl, knock yourself out, because that’s how she rolls and you wouldn’t think it and she probably doesn’t have the opportunity to talk like that with others, because they don’t talk back about grasses and stuff. But it’s those little things that have the most massive impact on someone that they want. They’re drawn to keep communicating with you, because you communicate on the same level so they’re really good examples, Nick 100%. 

Nic

Makes such a difference to the bedside manner, whether it’s a practitioner or surgeon or whatnot, because they just, they build rapport so beautifully and so easily and make people feel so comfortable. Whereas a less experienced surgeon or practitioner, sometimes will overcomplicate things and it becomes so confusing and overwhelming and patients just don’t understand they switch off and then it’s not a successful console. And whereas those people who have obviously mastered NLP, have quick consoles, effective consoles, and, and their patients just love them and rave about them even if they’ve only seen them for 20 minutes.

Griz

That’s it because that community feels for what they say, but life makes you remember how you felt and even talking about editing your mental images, if you’ve got a crappy client that you know comes in, to have their talks or their skin, whatever they’re having done, change that mental image in your head of them. So instead of walking out going, Oh my God, I’ve got this load and she’s just windows all the time and all that stuff, changed her mental image and put her head in your brain and gone, she’s fabulous, she’s amazing, she’s great and you’ll find that your demeanor when you go out to meet her will change dramatically, purely because you’re changing your mental images and that’s an NLP. NLP obviously another theory around it but just thinking about before you go, if you’re nervous about something, change the mental image in your head and they’ve always said for many many many years about if you’re presenting on stage measuring someone naked or but that’s just going back to that mental image stuff and visualise good so go to bed at night if you’re scared about something or worried about the patient next day or stressing because you’ve got to go into a sales program and you’re nervous and you don’t want to do selling, visualise difference and that’s probably a really good point that NLP talks us through as you’ve wished. Get off something and I know that a lot of nurses, they are genuinely driven by patient care and the minute we talk about selling, or we talk about nurses just think no, no, that’s not me. I didn’t join to be a nurse to be a salesperson. So if you’re struggling, the NLP way of doing that is visualising, you’re not sales, you’re helping people, they’re coming to you for your advice so that means you’ve got to share that advice with them. It’s not about the selling word, changing your mental picture about selling, changing your mental talk about selling is going to give you a really better result and outcome when a patient comes in.

Trish 

Yep, and I think if you genuinely believe in the products that you’re out that you have in your clinical salon, that can actually be natural as well, like, you’re not actually selling, you’re like, I’m obsessed with the skin care at the moment and I’ve been using it for years and years and I absolutely love it. So when I talk about it, I can talk about it with passion and with genuity, I guess if that’s the right word. 

Griz

Yeah, it’s so true and that’s why people buy. They buy from people they like number one, but they also buy because of the passion and the language that you use and not forced. And if you love something, that’s why we always say to people, you can’t sell something that you don’t believe in. I remember selling many, many years ago ojen and Provera for replacement therapy, HRT, and Premarin was pregnant measure on and I remember thinking so many people just didn’t want bad and we had a girl who refused to sell it because it had pregnant measure run, and she tried to sell and no one would believe her. The doctors didn’t believe it so we took her off that product portfolio and put her on one that she loved. Meanwhile, I was selling cabbages, which is an erectile dysfunction needle and the penis. Tell me I don’t believe in that, no one can reject that. It was so much fun. We had a ball anyway, you believe it?

Trish

Right? Literally, literally.

Griz

And even I remember thinking, gosh, diabetic patients that are young that couldn’t have other oral forms, that was their only way of getting an erection. So I’d walk in and go, Gosh, I can change people’s lives and what they deserve it like everybody else often means needle in the penis, bring it on. So if you’re passionate about it, and you believe it, you can absolutely sell it without feeling like you’re selling.

Nic 

So did you work in a clinic?

Griz

No. So I started off in pharma and looked after men and women’s health. So for many, many years talking to doctors on needles in the penis of erectile dysfunction and HRT and then,

Nic  

Griz is a scientist, Trish.  

Trish

I don’t know about that. 

Griz

And then I looked after oncology, so metastasis breast and bowel cancer for many years and then was in my life in oncology wards and went you know what I’m gonna do this, start training better because the way I had to learn all that stuff was really yuck. NLP is trying the way you like it, find the people you want to be like, and don’t be like it and my mindset, I remember I left pharma everyone, my parents, don’t do it. And Dane was really supportive and he’s like, Griz, go and do it and I said to mom and dad, like, what’s the worst that can happen is I don’t succeed in the business and I can come back in pharma in a heartbeat because I’ve been there for 15 years, and I love it and I’m really well renowned in that space. And it was my mindset of going that NLP mindset of just going this is what I want to be. This is what I think success looks like and this is how I can train people to learn information in a fun way and I want to go and do it. Yeah, thanks so much.

Trish

And, and it’s really funny, I guess, it kind of brings in bits of like, because to me, it sounds like visualisation, because I can remember doing that myself and just imagining that I wanted to be this person who was slim or semi slim or not as not as chubby and had this you while there’s stress and while this here or and I remember years later, it actually happened. Like I became the webmaster for a government department and I thought oh my god, I saw myself doing this years ago you know, even though it’s not NLP.

Griz

Actually it is, Trish. It is, you’re doing it and that’s what I said the beginning is you’re probably doing all this stuff you don’t even know that’s under the term of NLP. But that’s it Trish, you visualise yourself and you just keep working with then you find your goals and you look at the people that you want to get towards and look at what they do and pick out their beats that you want to be like, and then you just start modeling it.

Trish

Yep. And you don’t use that you’re saying you got your what was it your certification before you can teach other people?

Griz

NLP practitioner. 

Trish

Practitioner. Okay, cool. So, people can just go and learn this somewhere like can they just grab a book?

Griz

Yeah, yes, yes, yes, I do. But they can grab a book, it’s on the internet you know and there’s a lot to be said because and I probably shouldn’t say this, but you don’t probably need to go and spend days firewalking I mean, a lot of NLP stuff you do fire walking and you do things that are crazy and out of your comfort zone.

Nic

I wanna try firewalking with you.

Griz

I walk with some coals down or run around without a firewalking station but it’s all of that stuff. So you can go to extreme Trish of going the full NLP experience like the Tony Robbins, five day rah rah, change your world. You know, he’s interesting, I’ve seen a bit of him and he, he does change people’s lives, you know, there’s people who’ve had gambling problems and they say that even though they’re not addicted to gambling anymore, they’ve got that heaviness and they just carry it around every day, because now they’re working to pay off their debts, and they’ve gotta go to work every day and work three jobs and the reminder of having to work three jobs, and paying off debts is still related to gambling so they feel like they haven’t let it go. So he says simple things to them, if they’re up in the audience, you’ll say to them, so let that baggage go, like, throw it away and then he talks to them a couple of years later, and interviews with them and, he said, you know, it was that moment where I just all of a sudden walked out of there and went, I’m not going to carry that baggage. I’m not addicted to gaming, I’m not doing it anymore. Yes, I’ve got a debt to pay, but I’m going to enjoy work. So I now go into the mindset of enjoying work, not saying I’ve got to be here to pay off my gambling debts so that’s just like that circle. And he’s like all the bags are gone, put a rock and throw it away and it’s gone. And so that’s that whole practitioner part so when you go into the NLP programs, that sort of stuff that you’re doing will be experienced, too. You still can do a lot of these techniques. If you don’t want to go on a program and you’re not at that point. Buy online, there’s a million books. It’s Tony Robbins as psychologists that do it. Yeah. 

Nic

You’re right. Do you have a program coming up, like in the new year?

Griz

I can do a program. Absolutely. I can do a program coming up in the new year, you and I will go into a program and we’ll try to do firewalking, what we can. I can absolutely do a program.

Nic

Did anyone want to come get the last six months? Yeah, absolutely true. You did through the RIA.

Griz

I know, and it really did. I mean, even net pot, it’s interesting, everyone’s hitting me up with the surgery that we all know about, we only talk about anymore, but like, how bad was COVID? Or know how bad your surgery was? And I’m like not was nothing on COVID. So in my mind, I was so grateful that I’m still alive because it was life saving surgery that saved me, I’d be dead now. I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you so the fact that I survived life was all that whole positive mindset. And I remember going into whipple surgery, and everyone being scared for me and we only had 24 hours notice. I didn’t even Google it. Didn’t even look at it. Doctor said you might and survive this. It’s pretty crazy surgery. Not many people survive, and you know, whatever but I didn’t go in once thinking I wasn’t going to survive. I went out planning my next week so it’s that whole mindset NLP stuff and it’s just the way you view the world.

Nic 

Oh, you should have a big bow for yourself and for your husband.

Griz

Go like what my husband is 30 years of marriage in April and I’m sure that he maybe would have liked me to have gone to heaven. We decided we just want to be friends now. Like, Let’s just be friends. 

Trish

Life’s too short. 

Griz

Yeah, exactly. It’s always You’re right. So it’s great. 

Trish

If someone, if we want to say yet we want to do this. Let’s just talk about you doing it because like how long would it take? Like because I don’t have a lot of time. 

Griz

Well, you can I mean, you can effectively do a course in a day, you can do it in a day. Yeah. But that’s not including firewalking and big case studies. They’re the fundamentals but the proper NLP programs run anywhere from three to five days. Now, a lot of people don’t have that time, or they go to seminars where you go away to a retreat and so there’s lots of different ways of doing it. But for people that don’t have time, it’s really just going through the fundamentals and giving them examples. So saying, who do you aspire to be like, who’s your role model? What are their attributes? How do we get those attributes into you? What are the steps, so it’s really, really, really simple. It’s not hard to do, unless you want to become a practitioner, or unless you want to go and walk on fire and push yourself to the limits that you’ve never pushed yourself before. So there’s a lot of different ways of doing it, Trish.

Trish

Yeah, right. We can either have my walkie. I definitely don’t want to fire walk. 

Nic

I do. 

Trish

I watch you do it, Nicole. 

Nic 

Okay. Fantastic as well to model this type of mindset for your children, and the people around you as opposed to being a Debbie Downer.

Griz

It’s so true and giving people or children the life skills at home. So instead of what were the good things at school today, and they’ll probably give you the bad things and keep pestering them with the question of okay, so that was pretty crap and he didn’t like your lunch and the teacher, you didn’t do your homework and you got in trouble. What was one good thing at school today, one good thing. And then the next day, they’ll think about that one and if you keep on pressing on the good thing that changes their mindset, as well, which is part of NLP. And it’s really, really important that as kids, the more that I mean, their personalities ingrown from them from about the age of three, we’ll get Freudian papers and things like that. But their behavior is how they choose to behave in an environment and your values and beliefs are pretty strong and part of an NLP talks about looking at your beliefs. Because if your beliefs don’t match an NLPs beliefs you’re never going to be able to do NLP. So it’s all about, examine your beliefs, and what are you stopping yourself from doing by your beliefs now I’m not talking religion, I’m not talking your values, but think about your beliefs and or your beliefs are our, I don’t ever want to impose on anybody to ask them for help. Well, if that’s your belief, you’re never going to be successful in NLP getting to where you want to go because you’re always gonna need someone to help or to be coached. So if your belief is I don’t want to ask anyone for help, because I feel like I’m intruding, you’re never gonna get to where you want to go. So it’s really assessing those beliefs deep down in your guts and your gizzards and going, how am I going to get there? What are my goals? And who can help me get there? And people will always help you, if you ask, always ask if you don’t ask you don’t get.

Trish

So true. I was taught that at a young age. That’s so true to that ask that can only say no. I was just, of course, while you’re talking, I’m looking up your linguistic programming and it made me think of someone said to me this week that I didn’t even know how we got to talking about kids being possibly young age, but they were saying, and I don’t even know if it’s on a TV show that I saw, I watched that, that parental guidance and one of the things that he was every night at the dinner table because I sit down to eat, but you had to say three things, about three things that happened that day that were lovely, or I don’t even know how they covered it. But I’m just trying to say it to something, this is actually something that we should, it shouldn’t just be about work, this could actually be about bringing up kids and making them become positive and confident, I guess human beings. 

Griz

Yeah, it’s a life skill Trish, it should not just be for work. Absolutely not, it should be everything you’re doing and I say when I’m coaching people in their jobs, if they can’t find three good things about the role they’re doing, they shouldn’t be in the job. Because they’re not going to be happy, they’re not gonna be confident they’re gonna have, they’re gonna have negative talk in their brain, they’re gonna visualise positive things, and they’re gonna be miserable. Now, I don’t just say it on the first round. But if we’ve been coaching for three or four months, and they still can’t tell me three great things that they love about their job, they’re in the wrong job, and they need to, you’re never going to be successful and feel happy and life is too short to be in a miserable job. But if we can ingrown kids early on about all this stuff, they won’t go into the rock, they’ll really assess and they’ll visualise and go, Okay. And when you look at this generation, they make apps. They’re making billions of dollars, they’re just changing the world because they can and they’re fearless, and they’ve got courage and you think about Brene Brown of her courage and vulnerability, I mean, that’s a podcast in itself. I don’t know if you know much about Brene Brown, but yes, love her phenomenal and she always says, you know, do not, if you’re in the cheap seats, don’t you dare tell me what I’m doing is wrong. Unless you’re in the arena with me. And to be in the arena, you have got to have courage, and you’re so vulnerable, because people are gonna wear you out all the time. But being in that arena, using NLP with a positive mindset, positive body language, or changing your space in that space.

Trish  

That’s true, actually. Coz some people that sometimes put you down, you know, I mean, they don’t like this, they should be doing this, they should be doing that, I love that you get up and go and start making a change. Don’t tell us what we should be doing. But let’s do something about it.

Griz

That’s it. You know, if you’re in my seat, and you’re sitting here doing the podcast with me, you absolutely have a right to give me feedback. But if you’re not, until you’ve done it, I’m not listening to your feedback. It doesn’t mean anything to me but that’s that positive mindset and saying and I mean, you talk about it, when you’re on TV, you look at how many awful things that TV presenters get every single day about them and it’s just horrific. And they just swell through negative feedback, negative feedback, negative feedback, and I just think, Gosh, until you’ve been on live TV, do not dare tell anyone how crazy it is and it is nuts and it’s hard. And that’s why kids, young kids, if we can bring them up into a world where anything is possible the world, you can make the world and shape the world and change the world, whatever you want and start mirroring mum and dad and they’re emptying the dishwasher, or going into the dishwasher and help them like that’s NLP. It’s like that and that’s rapport building. I’m in the dishwasher and I’m helping my mom do it. So then when I go to someone else’s house after dinner, I’ll immediately habitually go and help them empty the dishwasher when we’ve all had a meal and then that rapport from that person, they want to have you back at their house and that’s the whole NLP scenario.

Trish

Yeah, my kids tend to do that for other people rather than for me, like, isn’t that interesting? Yeah. And they’ll be like, yes. Oh, they’re so wonderful. They can do the dishes and they do that’s not my God, what happened at our place?

Griz

That’s true but that sets them up. I mean, you’re giving them an option, because they’re knowing that environment of the other person they’re in that environment. Exactly. Really, I mean, they are life skills and the more kids that can learn this stuff, the more they won’t get to our age and go. She was never trying to fumble our way through it and work out how to do all this stuff because innately, it just comes naturally.

Nic

There’s a family of travel guides. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the TV show travel guide,

Trish

Oh my god, I love them. I love them.

Nic 

They are, they laugh at everything, it doesn’t matter what it is that they laugh, and oh my goodness, I just think I’m going to print a photo of their family and be like, this is who we’re going to emulate because they just, oh my gosh, everything in anything. They have a good laugh and just radiate happiness and joy.

Griz

And that’s what you should do like I and you know, we talk about in NLP, you talk about finding that person, the traits that you want to be like, and then go and start doing them. I encourage you guys on your next family, like wherever you go, show me.

Nic

This family, they are hilarious, they’re the best.

Griz

If you love, go and be that family on a tour or ghost tour with whatever it is that you’re doing. Go and emulate that and you feel good and that’s NLP in its essence. Like that’s it. 

Trish  

You do remind me a bit of them, Nicole, like I don’t know, across between the mother and the daughter, maybe? I don’t know. Because I have to be honest, I’ve actually watched that kind of show. 

Nic

I love it so much but I do make terrible jokes all the time. The kids are constantly saying, Oh, my goodness, just like the children in the family. Yeah. What a fantastic way to end. I feel like we should wrap it up here ladies. On this high note.

Griz 

Yes. On this high note of NLP and just go and do it like just do one thing today. If it is as you lead this podcast? Is it that you’re going to stand up more? Stand up more when you go and greet somebody? Is it going to sit in your chair, if you’re on a reception desk somewhere, sitting on your chair upright makes a really big difference to someone walking in and slouching over your desk looking down at your Facebook. So you know if that’s the change that you might get NLP in your guts out already. Think about when you go to bed at night, visualize how you want to be tomorrow and just start doing it.

Trish

Yep, I’m gonna let’s make one now Nicole. I’m gonna. I’m gonna I’ve already made one. I’m doing it now. I’m going to walk around today with my tits up.

Griz  

Yeah, do you know those tits? Yeah. Can we not wanna move on? Yeah, show it, stand up high, I’m proud and that will change the whole essence of your look at that God gets a look and saying you’re already doing it and I’ll say done. That’s all you have to do and that will change the way you feel. It’ll change the dopamine in your brain and the whole testosterone versus cortisol levels will change as well. Just by walking around standing taller.

Nic 

When my kids get in the car this afternoon and say guess what happened, they say school and it’s always something negative, to say what was good today about school?

Griz

Yeah, you are and you’re going to say it for the next three or four days. And then all of a sudden their brain will start looking for good and not looking for bad. Easy as that. On that note, visualise certainly being like me because I’m sure you want to get rich not just dream about me or not.

Nic

You’re the best. We love you so much and we can find you in frontandcentre.com.au and Mind the Gap.

Griz

Yeah, at Mind the gap because that’s a bit crazy. And anywhere else. Just bring me, I’ll have a chat. Call me, call me any time. Yeah. 

Trish & Nic

Thanks, Chris. Thank you so much. 

Griz

Bye, guys. Have a great day and I’ll pay you guts out. See yah. Bye. 

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Well, like all good quickies it's time to dust off and get back to our day jobs! If you liked the podcast please rate us because we need the validation for our fragile hearts. If you have a story to share or have a burning question you would like us to cover please slide into our DM’s on Instagram at @transformingbodiespodcast. Stay positive, keep your boobs and chins high until we chat again xoxo Trish